While growth and change are important to life, losing yourself at the expense of anyone or anything is never worth it. As a recovering people pleaser I understand how quickly this can happen and by the time you realize that you’ve lost a part of yourself, it’s too late. The truth is, there are many different things that may make you lose yourself for someone or something. I’m sure there are more and I am aware that everyone is so different. So if you do feel you have lost yourself or a part of yourself at the expense of someone or something, I encourage you to do some self-reflection or even get help if you feel that is necessary! Sometimes we need to understand why we are doing things to help us 1. not do those things and 2. learn and grow to help us get into better situations and achieve our own goals. How you get there is up to you! There is absolutely no wrong or better way to understand yourself and change your patterns and habits.
People pleasing so big.
I have been a people pleaser pretty much my whole life. While the intentions were always good, it didn’t always work out well for me. While I usually got the job done in ensuring everyone else was happy and cared for, I usually dropped the ball for myself. I typically did not take care of myself and continued to put others first. Which I do believe is a great quality but can be somewhat damming in these circumstances. When I was in the habit of people pleasing, I did it so often that I didn’t even realize how much of myself that I had lost. It was a hard realization but I have found my way back to the things I want to be and the things I want for myself in life.
Because you love them or because they are your friend.
I’m going to keep this one short and sweet, if they loved you or if they were your true friend, they wouldn’t let you or want you lose yourself. They would truly want the best for you regardless of what it does for them. At the end of the day, you have to go to bed with who you are. Not what you’ve done for other people. While being someone that does things for others is a great trait to have, if you are losing yourself because of it, it is not worth it. There has to be a balance between filling your cup and keeping others full.
Because someone told you, or made you feel like, you had to choose a certain path.
You ALWAYS reserve the right to change your mind. No one should make you feel like you have to continue to do something that simply isn’t you or isn’t you anymore. Again, if it is costing you yourself, it is not worth it. With this one there is a certain level of communication that needs to be done. Is it someone else holding you back? Or Is it you holding yourself back?
Now, I think that holding yourself accountable and setting appropriate boundaries definitely comes into play with ensuring you don’t lose yourself. Don’t get so caught up in the acts of daily life that you forget to live life for you and not for other people. You deserve to live the life you want. Take complete responsibility for yourself and in doing so, find the freedom to live how you choose! If you are truly good with the choices you make at heart, then keep on living your life!
Remember, you deserve to live YOUR life on your own terms. Not other people’s and not what you feel like your terms HAVE to be. Go out there and make good choices, including ones for yourself 🙂
All the love,